© SamWoods
It hurts ,
it hurts so much,
When breathing becomes ragged and hard..
When tears try to spill.
When in the middle of happiness,
Demons give war cry..
Just little yet somehow meaningful words ,
And memories trying to intensify
the pain and guilt and all the shame
Has heart rate spiking to its peak
Has tears spill from soul
Has old wounds sliced open
And I sit wondering what I did to deserve this all..

Is it okay to not be happy
Thinking that you don't deserve
Don't deserve this beautiful life
Praying for death to open its warm embrace
And hold you...and take you away from everything
Every hurt every memory everything and everybody

And I know for a fact
That Heaven has no doors for sinful person as me
And hell has nothing to get pleased of
So now I pray and beg
I plead for nothingness after death and life.
and I'am on my knees
defeated and exhausted
and pray, beg and plead
for the spirits to just hold me
and never let me leave