I'm locked in a room
This is not a true story
I'm not gonna do more
I'm not pursuit oriented
Ain't no laureate
Laurie ate my fuckin orient express
I'm running up on her
I'm trapped in a ruse
It's back to the moon for me
Mornings not gonna come

Let me forward my death wish to my Sith alter ego and dark side ranger the famed...

Um. Sorry. Technical difficulties.

Got it? Okay. Sorry bout that, folks...

Introducing...Mr. Collateral Damage himself, that blob of your neurons in your skull...

Besides a few holes...

Say Hello to the one and only...

Is this thing broke?
The screen went um... Tiedye

Live free or dye tying.

And now it says Error found: Why God Why. System reboot imminent. Go ahead and sit down. This is not gonna be quick.

I gotta stick.

No I don't. I got an error message. I aborted you!

That's what mom yelled at me, when I fell out.

Sorta rude

Anyway. Truth.

Im foraging. For Skittles. And little snacks. I'm raging.

Cause I'm killing axe style
with a swipe that makes these intransigent transient manhandlers go back to their panhandle in their panda suits.

I'M A MAN ON THE LOOSE!!!

Now they were a fantasy. Got some loose ends. But I managed to slay over thirty five of the greasy old dandy dudes.

Well...one 35 year-old.

Hand firmly round my handle I examined my enemies motions
My vantage was very valuable
My eyes saw all of them all the time
So they were totally in my spray
Get away, bitches!

First one inched forward

I flinched and burst into action like a Michael Jackson dance move rehearsed and totally seamless
Next to no weaving

A straight dive
I saw his chest and chopped into it like an invading Viking
Slaying a peasant and liking it
I screamed Thor's name in righteous rage and lopped his head off in the next fluid sweep.

Blood spurted. Over dramatically. The effects artist needed to chill out.

This is martial arts.

No it's not. This is me doing nothing.

Sewed up and roughing it in abduction. What do they want?

A lump of shit.

It's gonna take awhile.

We can wait a bit.

Have any laxatives?

Fuck no we're in panda suits and we're about to abandon all hope of getting through to the ocean.

We're not bad guys. We just need to go south. It's cold here.

Likely story.

Fuckin
© JacobAlive