Shower droning
Im hovering
not floating
Can't wash the feel of dirty away
The grime is caked on my mental state
Mind muck
Yuck
I feel slimy

Ugh
I'm slipping out of reality
Watch me melt away
I am the grime
I become locked in a state
Like hair in a drain
I clog the ways
Of weak facades
get that bottle out of my fucken face
A happy pill can't help me on my better days
Medicine feels like a hopeless routine
Doctor get away from me
And soap can only clean the external feelings of decay
How TF do I clean the rot off my brain
Well
before I take a blade and try to dig into that place
I think I'll practice my knife skills on my arms and legs
I'm a perfectionist
My perception
Is a little twisted
And sometimes contradictive
I'm persistent
In dismissing
All my needs
Can't do upkeep
I need a mind maid
Come give my head a sweep
Lobotomy

fridge is droning
I'm hungry
want some serotonin
but I am sick
already over ate this morning
still I insist
or well my mental illness
it does persist
I indulge a bit
but a bit is never enough
I'm left in rough shape
covered in scraped and bruises
my eyes are dark
sleep deprived
I'm racooning
my anxiety is shooting
up through my spine
nothing unusual
I've gotten used to it
I'm
feeling stagnant
it's giving ragged
No thats an understatement

It's giving disabled
Rats nest
I'm fucking tangled
My mind is mangled
Mind muck
Yuck
I was born in a dirty rut
Never seemed to get all that grime off
Take this mind off
Of my hands
Take my head
Remove it
And Then
Fill it with rocks
Throw it in the ocean

Shower
I'm droning
Hovering
I'm not floating
Can't wash the feeling of dirty away
The grime is caked on my mental state






© Jada E. Clark