Not You

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Poem

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Heidi Shavill

18 March 2020

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The solid ground I count on

shifts and crumbles beneath my feet

With nothing real to cling too

my desperate souls left incomplete...

Suddenly,

I'm insecure...

and uncertain about us.

I don't know how we lost our way

Or why in your eyes I see disgust

The darkness,

deepens,

as we speak...

my soul is changed,

forever.

If this is it,

I swear,

I'm done.

I will not love again.

Ever...

I can't believe your smile's gone.

I should have paid attention.

I wish now,

that I'd have shared

those feelings I failed to mention...

I'm sorry for all I didn't do.

I hate letting you down.

Crazy thoughts swirl in my head

My eyes won't leave the ground.

I wish I knew a long time ago

that you would never dare

fall for me like I have you

It's too late now,

I'm scared.

I say goodbye

through tightly clenched teeth

I wish you wouldn't go

I wish we had remained just friends

I guess we should have known.

Find yourself some needed peace

And become who you long to be

So that perhaps someday soon

You can fondly think of me.

Heidi Shavill
2016

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