It's winter here. Chilly mornings
Cold nights, one troubled mind.
It fell on me without any warnings
Or answers which I'm yet to find

Some days it feels more gentle even,
Bringing me peace with seldom ray of light
Reminds me of my childhood, of freedom
To be the one who knew making things right

Every problem was an adventure to go into
How magical it seemed to me by then.
I wonder could I be as brave as I once used to?
Will I find strength one day to dream again?

And yet among this growing doubt
Sometimes I see the tiny sparks of hope
A sudden luck, a rose bloomed in my garden
Show me the path explaining how to grope

Feeling my way, advancing forward with a step uncertain
But always moving, holding on to this
Searching for truth, keeping my eyes wide open
For any trace of wonder, any unseen bliss.

But it is summer now where you are.
With brighter days and warmer nights
When you could almost reach for every star
If only you had wished to touch the skies.

When you can go outside without layers
Warming your skin under the gentle sun
Dance in the street and sing, who even cares?
If you know better than to miss the fun

You always did know better how to wonder
Creating those small miracles around you
Knew finding beauty hidden deeply under
Or how to lighten the most dullest mood.

How to acknowledge every soul you meet,
Be kind to every dog and every living thing,
Bringing your help to anyone in need
Being so magical as only you could be.

And I know now I will have to try
To smile again to find my sense of wonder
To feel my beating heart, not ever ask it why
Or for how long will it be bleeding without you.

This love I carry nowadays as burden
Could live again, could find its own way
For if I cannot love you any longer
I will then love the world as you taught me one day.

I'll bring it to the smallest creatures,
Offering the breadcrumbs to the frozen birds
Saving a butterfly with a crooked wing and
Showing the way to some wondering souls.

I'll give it to the days when sun is missing
When storm is raging and the sea unkind
When rain is pouring and there's no reason
For wonders to exist or for us them to find.

Beside every act of courage, find me there
Among all this beauty and this ache.
You're woven into every memory we shared,
You will exist in every good I make.

30/01
© yuliaevsyukova