I don't feel like I belong. Everyone has all these expectations for me. They want me to be the girl with good grades, a kind heart, smart, good body, beautiful. But that's not me, I cross this weird bridge, the bridge is the only place I belong. It relates to my fear of trying to figure out who I am, it relates to the pain that I feel of not knowing who I am. The looks and words people say to me, Its like im a sour candy they dont like and want to throw away. I put this hoodie over my head to hide myself from everyone. I hide my face so I don't get called ugly. I make sure the hoodie is oversized so they don't judge my body. I keep to myself so they can't judge my voice, my laugh. I slouch over just so they can't make fun of my height. Yet they still do, they always find a way to break me down. I hide in a dark empty room, where I can be myself for once. I grab my journal and I write how I feel. My therapist says to talk to someone about my feelings, but I cant. Everyones either a liar, cheater, manipulator, user, and many other words. Adults always expect us to be good, to listen to everything we are told to do, to mind our business, to keep out of trouble, and to always be happy with a smile. But let me ask you something. Just because you're a friend of a teenager or the parent, how do you know what they go through?. You may be their friend, or parent, and you may raise them. But do you know how much online bullying that we get?. Just because of the way we look, or the way we speak, or the stuff we own, wear, or the place we live. We also get mentally and physically bullied at school. You tell us to just walk away and ignore the bullies, but if you knew how bad it was, I know you would do more than just ignore and walk away. Everyday a teen dies, wether its from suicide or murder. School can give us stress, because of work, teachers, and students. We even starve ourselves because we want people to like us, for our parents to love us. We are forced into peer pressure because we don't know how to handle it, because we don't have parents or an adult figure to go to, to understand us. So please don't say you understand me, don't say you know what I go through, don't say you can help me. Because you make things hard for me, you sometimes make me wanna wear my hoodie over my head and hide in the dark. So I'll stay on this bridge until someone crosses it with me, holding my hand in understanding actions, and emotions.
© Tasha