#UNREQUITED LOVE
Some liken their love to a mothers sacrifice for her child
the sacrifice of youth, look and that appealing body
The dedication and time they sacrifice
or discomfort while in their belly
but my love is more than that
the love for what should have been
the love for a heartbeat
the love for a being I've never seen
the sacrifice for a life not yet in existence
the undying hope for what could be.

The silent conversation
that bonds them like no other
the connection only they shared
the silent prayers and hope for the best,
and yet the sorrow for what could have been,
or the hollow that comes after.
snatching at every bit of humanity left
regrets and thoughts of what went wrong
the yearning for a soul mate.

Oh! the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh
could I have left instead of you,
should I have been a past for your presence,
and a future yet untold.
oh, the pain!
gnawing at my heart
no heartbeat
like you were never there

Oh! my dear baby
we could have been the best together
how beautiful I know you were
people could have been awed at your cuteness and uniqueness
my special baby
should have just taken me with you.

All I see is darkness without you my light
my only emotion
fear, loneliness, pain, and that cycle repeats itself every day without you,
the very thought of eating is a punishment
Only if I had fed you more
if I had looked after my frail health.

I killed you I know
I caused your untimely death I know.
I'm a murderer, not a mother
Oh! the pain of stillbirth
and the ceaseless love for
A short presence,
yet feels like you're still here
my unrequited love for
my little juhainah.


© juhainah ibrahim