I wonder what I look like in your eyes

My need to know can euthanize

My jilted nerves postpone said exercise

I wouldn't get a word in edgewise

Don't be afraid, I say to self hoping to sterilize

A mind raised in a world prone to scandalize

They'd give you the rope and call ya streetwise

Implications shrink ya down to about half your size


After all it's the tell with no show that will demoralize

Words into ammo yet so grossly destabilized

Thoughts entertained used to depersonalize

Deeply agonizing sense of sadness on the rise

So please excuse the manner in which I despise

The subtle ways I'm made to hate my thick thighs

Or hid the very essence of mystery in a fool's disguise

Shaking off what remains before each soul dies

*sighs

I wonder, as my thoughts capsize

Themselves into reckless conclusions that then compartmentalize

Ever shifting further away spinning clockwise

Nearly missing the path, the only thing left are my silent cries

Craving relief, a feeling I cannot overemphasize

The madness inside the cycle occupies

The darkest of reaches otherwise

Used to create a life filled by beauty optimized




© Ava Morris