Do I believe in destiny
or should I say do I want to believe in destiny
why is it so difficult to fall in love
but to also let go of someone who never was yours
why do I crave for your attention when I already know the answer
I try everytime with no good results
but I retry again and again
why am I so miserable for love
I search it in parents, friends or lovers
why is it not enough for me being happy by myself
why I start crying when I look out for someone unknown to me
why is it always I'm in pain with no help
I change myself accordingly to what people demands
but why no love in return
I have seen pity from strangers
you think I don't hate that feeling
why is it there's considerate feelings in someone for me whom I never met before
but not to you nor the parents

I think about leaving you alone
and it's not like I haven't tried
but you come back running for me whenever I try
and then leaves like you never existed
am I this bad not to receive any love in exchange
or do I need to disappear forever
why do I've tears in my eyes everyday waiting for you
it's not like you give out your time to everyone in your life
am I that unspecial to you
or just a useless being to thrown away

I'm tired of being a miserable one
why do I get the blame when I try to speak out about my feelings
I'm so tired of bottling up my emotions
I just want to be set free
my heart and mind are no longer aligned
I'm so sorry but I'm falling out of love with you.


© Api