Im sorry i dont mean to startle you
(I said)
You didnt deserve that
(He said)
See you dont understand, I kinda did
(I said)

(Ok lets Rewind a bit)

It was 1st of August
When a bosom friend of mine paid me a visit
See there was something different about that visit
It was a different kind of visit
One that i could see worry in his face
distress in his eyes
unsettlness in his body
He asked "whats going on?" with pale eyes
thats when i weeped a river of tears

Im Hurting i said
Im stressed
Im depressed
Im hopeless
Im Sad
Im empty
Im in pain
Im Broken
Im lonely
Im emotionally drained
Im suicidal 😪

His eyes popped out as he showed dismay and disapproval
"Whats going on?" (he asked)

I said

I knew he was hurting me
I knew he wasn't treating me right
I knew i deserved better
but i stayed anyways
sometimes you love someone
you love them so much you let them hurt you
I wanted him to touch me even if it makes me bleed
I wanted those seconds of happiness
Even if it meant a night of tear stained pillows
In my gut i knew it wasn't right
But i'd spend hours making excuses,
Just to try to feel "it was"
put myself second to put him first
And i thought hey! maybe one day,
one day he'll do the same for me
I guess i just have to keep waiting.




© the plug