My range of motion
In this world
My safety net
My safety blanket was so small
Technology and books
Shifted into safety portals
Transporting a little girl
To a temporal escape
From her brutal and painful life
A frame of minutes and seconds
Where she could pretend
She existed in a world
Existed in a reality
Where she didn’t have to be afraid
The screen became a portal
The television screen, phone screen
She fashioned portals
Out of the pages of fantasy books
A paper rocket ship
An escape pod
To transport her from a life
That constantly dug into her soul
Like a knife
Probably why she became fascinated
With kites
Crafting portals
With a pencil and her mind
Taking to poetry
To release what was trapped inside
Because
Today
It may be just in my imagination
But one day
I’ll be able to say
That this safe feeling
Is my reality
In my world I am safe
I am loved
I am surrounded by people
Who see my worth and see me
And love and accept every piece
Of me
What I saw in the mirror
Was a reflection of a broken identity
A shattered distant personality
Depersonalization and a tearing
Dissociating to keep bearings
Where the soul tore itself
From the physical body
To escape the present
That hurt like hell
Because her present was hell
That home was a cage
She thought she’d never escape
And the darkest shade of black
Is a heart drained of all hope
It drops and sinks into a thick
Black lagoon of despair and doom
But wait
It slowed but never stopped
Kept thumping and punching back
What is it?
That’s my pulse motherfucker
It never stopped
Through every single moment of pain and destruction
No matter how much of my skin and flesh
You tore away from me
Like the chunks of Jesus’s flesh that were ripped out of his body
In Passion of the Christ
Yeah that movie
That movie you forced us to watch every Easter
Force-fed guilt soaked submission
Boiled and melted into formation
Sealed in an iron casket of fear
You controlled me
Because you made me afraid of you
But I’m no longer under you
I was a child then
You hovered over me
You could hurt me
I could not fight back
I depended on you to survive
Lock it up
Lock it up
Shove it down
So we can make...