I've cried myself to
sleep every night for
reason and flashes
of memories that
escape me.

My room is as
quite and buzzing
as if I am underwater.

This does not block
the sounds of the
manic voices in my
head, there was once
your voice in passing,
and a slight montage
of every memorable
gesture you did with
your hands when you
were with me.

My body anchors itself
in my bed, and my thoughts,
hope and sanity are all afloat.

He always said to cry
myself a river, but I only
managed to cry an aquarium,
maybe it is partially the reason
why the pain is still here, it
is never flowing.

One of these days, when
I finally realize that I'm
holding my breath for these
past few months, I will open
my window, kick the door open,
bust a hole through the walls
and ceilings, and finally take
my first breath of fresh air.
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