I looked at my day and prayed for goodness,
But all I got was Failure,
I'm so full of awfulness,
I wonder if this is my calling?

I decided to go along with people,
But all I got in return was pain and regret,
In grief, I would cry silently,
Who am I to disturb the peace of others?

I followed a new path, new people, a new life,
To no avail, I got all the horror back,
Maybe a new life isn't meant for me,
I should have just stayed alone in the dark, where I belong.

But each day I told myself today would be good,
I look deeply back to the past and remember my pains,
The times I prayed and waited for answers,
The times I thought it was me and thought I needed to change to fit in.

Thinking of it makes my skin wrinkle,
Everytime a new experience comes,
Everytime a genuine person comes,
The trauma play back and I...