To my eleven year old self,
I have no other words, than I'm sorry
Sorry for not believing in you
Sorry for doubting you
Sorry that I couldn't protect you from the bullies
Sorry I couldn't protect you from those who made fun of your stutter
Sorry for disliking what you saw in the mirror
Sorry for not sheltering you more from the troubles at home
Sorry for your low self-esteem
But most of all, sorry for not protecting you from this cruel, heartless world
If you could see me now, I know you'd be proud
Cause not only did we do most of what we set out to do, we did it despite all the wretched things we had to endure
But, often times, I still see so much of myself in you
That timid kid, shy, withdrawn
Not by nature, but as a means to not stick out and become the centre of attention
Because you knew if we was placed in the spotlight, eventually things would go horrendously
And we was just left there standing with a lump in our throat, 3 seconds away from tears
I've lost count of how many times i cried myself to sleep during that time, and still today
But if it wasn't for you that held on, I wouldn't have still drawn breath today, and have the chance to grow out of my shell eleven years later
And even though all our pain hasn't been healed yet,
I thank you for holding on, cause looking at your strength, makes me strong
And I promise to make you proud, and to reach everything we dreamed of
If not for me, then for you, JD

,from your 22 year old self

© JDW