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Blind, Manipulative Love
Years ago, I was enamored.
I didn't recognize the warnings.
I was so focused on his heart that was injured.
Saved him from the streets.
A homeless young man who I deemed perfect.
Unknown to me, he was keeping scoresheets.
Of all the affinities that he had shredded.
Blind, manipulative love.
By mistake, in deep water, I had always treaded.
At first, our love was bold, gentle, and strong.
Inseparable, without a fear of loss.
Blinded by love, I was completely wrong.
The signs were in bright bold letters.
I still don't understand how I couldn't see.
Hiding behind his kind face were malicious pleasures.
He told me I couldn't leave.
My friends and family were not allowed to be around.
What he told me next was when my mind started to unweave.
Cameras were in our home.
He spoke in a growling tone.
As if he suspected that I couldn't be without a chaperone.
While he was at work, I couldn't walk out the door.
With the fear that he’d accuse me of being unfaithful.
I spent my days weeping on the bathroom floor.
Paranoid and possibly delusional.
I believed every word he said.
Teaching myself to be ridged and mechanical.
Every movement and sentence was formulated to please him.
As he wanted me to be his little puppet.
He would smirk at me, a smile so grim.
Knowing that he had mangled my strings into knots.
Laughing at me and anything that caused me pain.
I could never avoid his onslaughts.
I was the one who made the most and paid the rent
He would empty my bank accounts.
Never knowing where all my money was spent.
If I were to ask he would become defensive.
Leaving bruises and blood stains as my pay.
Then in the same act, using his forgiveness as an incentive.
I'm still unsure today what made me cut my strings.
He said he wanted a break from us, and I took that as an out.
Finally ran from the mental abuse and beatings.
He fell in love with a girl who worked with him and cheated.
After he accused me of that very thing.
I took everything I owned and more.
Stripped our apartment of everything that was me.
I even took the bed, so he could screw his new girl on my bedroom floor.
No longer did I feel defeated.
I was free.
Blind, Manipulative love.
Now I truly see.
© A. Tenney 2024
I didn't recognize the warnings.
I was so focused on his heart that was injured.
Saved him from the streets.
A homeless young man who I deemed perfect.
Unknown to me, he was keeping scoresheets.
Of all the affinities that he had shredded.
Blind, manipulative love.
By mistake, in deep water, I had always treaded.
At first, our love was bold, gentle, and strong.
Inseparable, without a fear of loss.
Blinded by love, I was completely wrong.
The signs were in bright bold letters.
I still don't understand how I couldn't see.
Hiding behind his kind face were malicious pleasures.
He told me I couldn't leave.
My friends and family were not allowed to be around.
What he told me next was when my mind started to unweave.
Cameras were in our home.
He spoke in a growling tone.
As if he suspected that I couldn't be without a chaperone.
While he was at work, I couldn't walk out the door.
With the fear that he’d accuse me of being unfaithful.
I spent my days weeping on the bathroom floor.
Paranoid and possibly delusional.
I believed every word he said.
Teaching myself to be ridged and mechanical.
Every movement and sentence was formulated to please him.
As he wanted me to be his little puppet.
He would smirk at me, a smile so grim.
Knowing that he had mangled my strings into knots.
Laughing at me and anything that caused me pain.
I could never avoid his onslaughts.
I was the one who made the most and paid the rent
He would empty my bank accounts.
Never knowing where all my money was spent.
If I were to ask he would become defensive.
Leaving bruises and blood stains as my pay.
Then in the same act, using his forgiveness as an incentive.
I'm still unsure today what made me cut my strings.
He said he wanted a break from us, and I took that as an out.
Finally ran from the mental abuse and beatings.
He fell in love with a girl who worked with him and cheated.
After he accused me of that very thing.
I took everything I owned and more.
Stripped our apartment of everything that was me.
I even took the bed, so he could screw his new girl on my bedroom floor.
No longer did I feel defeated.
I was free.
Blind, Manipulative love.
Now I truly see.
© A. Tenney 2024
