Hey papa, I hope this finds you well,
Its me your son, I know you can barely recognize me,
Its long since we had a son-dad talk , did we even have one?
Since all we shared were fights and unending cruel words you spat on me each time we crossed paths.

It saddened me that I was barely six years and you were all on my nerves,
What would a five year old child do enough to end the best moments you shared with mum? did you even have best moments?
I still have lots of questions I would like you answer but it's all good at least I had mommy.
You know how many times I cursed you?
Hoped you never showed up in mummy's life?
How many times i thought I would gather strength to struggle you and end your life?
But I'm not inhuman like you are, or maybe I am cause your blood runs in my veins or maybe I'm not even your biological son?,
How many times I wished mum gave up on me cause it seemed I was the cause of your hostility?
But no, mama never heard my wish and through her I learnt true love exists.
Do you have any idea how many nights I watched momma cry and drain her energy on thoughts about you?
How many times sister had to keep momma company as she spent most nights gazing at the television?
You have any idea how I got to know about drugs?, and that they relieved me at some point?
I guess you don't wonna know after all, I was non of your business.
By the time you read this, I'll be long gone,
Or maybe you'll be there as I give up on life cause as usual momma will still let you know how "your family" is fairing.
But this the end of me, miserable and inhuman cause I'm pretty sure my mum's and sibling's heart are broken.
After all I mattered to them.
Here's my last word to you, there are questions I needed answers, please would you do be the honors and give me answers?
And to my siblings too?
And just know that I loved you and despised you.
Son.

#TELL PAPA CHALLENGE
#OLIVE SHIKU

© Olive shiku