Left me on read
confused that if you still care
do you?
have to pretend that I dont
but will keep finding reasons to talk to you

I wonder
if they love me still
if they are faking
or if they really mean what they said
are they tired of me yet?

Too annoying
pretty exhausting
boring and uncool
mirrors they haunt my insecurities

do they talk behind my back
do I talk too much or too less?
awkward and silly
am I creepy?
but I just care thats all
didnt want to scare you off

hard and stone cold
until you know me
too emotional
when you do
but you dont know
how much I already expect
to be disappointed
to be hurt
to be feeling like I am a "no one"

not all flaws are natural
some are created
you should have known that
you are partly to blame

I dont hate myself
I just keep thinking
thinking too much
the kind of thinking
that keeps me up at night
the kind that is happy
in who I am
at the same time
just feels like everyone
is not
I know it shouldn't bother
but its kind of sad
how everyone yells perfect
when they are filled
with flaws themselves

I said I love you too soon huh?
was never there for you huh?
broke you, hurt you
got too attached huh?
decide first then blame
cant be everything in the perfect
amounts you want to create

I maybe too much
dramactic
overreacting
but its not always in my head
sometimes its just the way I feel
cant explain
cant understand
but its just how it is


© ~notyourfavperson