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Still The Same!!!
Here we are at another new year!
Am I excited to still be here?
Truth is the answer to that isn’t crystal clear!
In my head these wicked voices will I still hear?
Will I be too afraid to let anyone in my heart or even near?
Will I anymore shed a single tear?
Will I continue to feel like I’m always being left behind in the rear?
Will I always be afraid mentally crippled with this fear?
I think nothing will change I’ll always wish to continue to just be able to disappear!
Don’t have a slight clue if I’ll truly be able to persevere!
Not trying to be insincere!
I’m not someone who’ll ever try to be cavalier!
Take my heart and my life it’s yours a little souvenir!
You can rattle it off like an auctioneer!
If I finally disappeared I think some people would happily cheer!
Do I just finally give up and just give in?
Feels like all I do is crawl inside my own skin!
The line between love and hatred of being of me is wearing very thin!
Give me the grenade and I’ll pull the pin!
There’s no point no matter what I’ll never be able to win!
How to describe what my mind tells me I don’t know where to even begin!
I’d like another chance with life’s wheel to take another spin!
Sometimes wish I could go back in time to happier times in the past I’d been!
I’ll never ever feel okay again deep within!
Mentally it feels like I’ve gone mad and like I’ve gone completely insane!
All this internal struggle I’ve gotten too good at being able to contain!
What part of me is there left to remain?
Any kinds of happy thoughts I’ve had are getting so much harder to maintain!
I’m tired of all this mental strain!
I can’t describe how I feel it’s so hard to explain!
Sick and tired of all these heart wrenching thoughts and feelings invading my heart and my brain!
I’ll let all my tears fall with the cascading rain!
On this world I’ll become nothing but a mere stain!
I’m nothing special just someone so mundane!
How do I think when my mind is full of all this mentally excruciating pain?
I’m just a man full of pathetic shame!
Yes, I’m so very stupid and lame!
Nobody will soon care about my name!
This isn’t some kind of methodical game!
If I’ve lost myself I guess I should only have myself to blame!
Doesn’t matter what I say or do it’ll always only be still the same!
© BDawg90
Am I excited to still be here?
Truth is the answer to that isn’t crystal clear!
In my head these wicked voices will I still hear?
Will I be too afraid to let anyone in my heart or even near?
Will I anymore shed a single tear?
Will I continue to feel like I’m always being left behind in the rear?
Will I always be afraid mentally crippled with this fear?
I think nothing will change I’ll always wish to continue to just be able to disappear!
Don’t have a slight clue if I’ll truly be able to persevere!
Not trying to be insincere!
I’m not someone who’ll ever try to be cavalier!
Take my heart and my life it’s yours a little souvenir!
You can rattle it off like an auctioneer!
If I finally disappeared I think some people would happily cheer!
Do I just finally give up and just give in?
Feels like all I do is crawl inside my own skin!
The line between love and hatred of being of me is wearing very thin!
Give me the grenade and I’ll pull the pin!
There’s no point no matter what I’ll never be able to win!
How to describe what my mind tells me I don’t know where to even begin!
I’d like another chance with life’s wheel to take another spin!
Sometimes wish I could go back in time to happier times in the past I’d been!
I’ll never ever feel okay again deep within!
Mentally it feels like I’ve gone mad and like I’ve gone completely insane!
All this internal struggle I’ve gotten too good at being able to contain!
What part of me is there left to remain?
Any kinds of happy thoughts I’ve had are getting so much harder to maintain!
I’m tired of all this mental strain!
I can’t describe how I feel it’s so hard to explain!
Sick and tired of all these heart wrenching thoughts and feelings invading my heart and my brain!
I’ll let all my tears fall with the cascading rain!
On this world I’ll become nothing but a mere stain!
I’m nothing special just someone so mundane!
How do I think when my mind is full of all this mentally excruciating pain?
I’m just a man full of pathetic shame!
Yes, I’m so very stupid and lame!
Nobody will soon care about my name!
This isn’t some kind of methodical game!
If I’ve lost myself I guess I should only have myself to blame!
Doesn’t matter what I say or do it’ll always only be still the same!
© BDawg90
