Honestly I don’t know
You know how hard it is to do this shit?
When the rhymes just won’t hit.
When you hear the notes in your ear
But you just aren’t there.
When you isolate yourself
But you still worry about everyone else.
When I want to stay on a shelf
Just so I can help myself.
Honestly I don’t know
If I’ll ever just be able to go.
But fuck it’s a free throw.
Just a mask for show.

How much does it take to get thoughts out?
How much pain does it take till I can shout?
How much shame does it take till it rains?
I feel crippled in my mind full of lames.
I don’t want to bring you with me.
But entrance is free.
I feel so selfish.
I keep feelings to myself like a Hermit Shellfish.
I love you but I need you to shew.
Cause only I can fit these shoes.
Ones full of burden,
And I’ll hate myself if it leaves you hurtin’
I wish I could keep to myself, bottled up.
But sooner or later it’ll overflow the cup.

I don’t like cussing it’s an imperfection.
It’s like my sins come back, like resurrection.
I tried shielding you away from it.
Just for you to still get hit.
For that I’m sorry, sorry for pain.
But pain is temporary like rain.
I love you but through and through.
I value your honesty, true and truth.
I use my pen as my soul.
My lyrics are a burner like coal.
I don’t use ink, I use my blood.
Nobody will hear me, like who would?
More like who could?
Sorry, I meant who should?

I feel an angels clasp
And a devil grasp
I feel my gasp
It’s leaving very fast
Cause I feel my sin
It derives from my kin
Passed down from each generation
Each gen starts a faster acceleration.
But it’s sorta exciting missing an exclamation.
But just remember congratulations.
You got through,
You made due.
Live laugh love.
But living isn’t always jokes or love.
Honestly I don’t know.
Where should I go?
Do I stay in my mind?
Where God is always on my line,
Always saying it’s time for you to shine.
But I can’t stop from feeling a lie.
Just to be hated like rye.
Funny huh, names fit you.
May even keep you true.
Or make you brand new.
So try not to stay blue.
This may never reach the public
Who knows, this could sell in Publix
Or stay in the dark, an endless void.
My mind which was once destroyed.
Do I put on a front or give you a show?
Cause honestly I don’t know.



© tmrf