That i Don't like driving much.
Never been all that good at it.
I'll nod, tell you I have my reasons.
Let you assume or project...
Leave it open ended.
It's a half truth.
I get lotsa angry beeping cars, yeah.
They don't bother me much.
Really?
I love driving.
I want all the windows down,
The music loud.
Turn off the GPS.
I prefer paper maps.
But I won't tell you any of this.
I'll say I hate driving, give you my keys...
Let you take my car
And pinky promise you'll bring it back.
Seasons changing- are the worst.
The best.
I reach full potential when in motion.
Still i will tell you I hate driving.
Let your mind imagine
What i may or may not have been victim to.
The truth is?
When I get behind the wheel,
I might not be coming back.
I'll drive off and that'll be that.
Leave everything I own.
Leave you with ghosts.
It builds up slow...
I can always feel it coming though.
Today, I don't trust myself
Behind this wheel.
I won't ever tell you any of this.
I'll try.
In different ways.
Tell you this isn't working.
Ill be distant.
Trapped, smothered, by you
and me both.
The pressure of stability
And a stationary home...
Is torture in every sense of the word.
Ill tell you i get nervous driving.
All the while, there's a nagging irritation
I keep sweeping under rugs...
A Knowing the risks are high...
There very well may come a day
I drive away and don't look back.
Cause the truth is i fucking love driving.
I won't tell you.
I won't tell you because I'll hope.
Hope it'll be different this time.
That I'll be different.
We will be different.


.....
*addendum*
Hope that separately
we will be united
and allow one another
the space to drive to that place...
that not so elusive state
of an at peace mind.
holding onto hope
that we all may find
ourselves driving to
and not away from.


© fire_tamed_dame