After punching my fist
Into the diamond glass pane,
Nothing bothered
my concentration further;
Until thoughts of never
holding you, kissing you,
Or making love to you --
Caused my counterfeit.
peace to shatter!

Why didn't I perish
The moment you left --
The instant I heard
Your engaging high heels
Walking across the floor?

If there had been a reason
For me to continue
drawing breath,
You took it with you
When you callously strolled
Out our front door
Without once looking back.

After the memories left
My shattered brain,
I passed what seemed
like hours
Screaming my throat raw!

While every concept of you
Felt like a stray bullet
Fracturing my abused heart
Until there was nothing left
but gore!

Going from a warm bottle
To a lethally loaded gun,
Didn't seem like much
Of an authentic problem
When I casually chose one
Over the other from the floor.

I closed my eyes
As I picked up the gun,
Then placed it in my mouth
With a practiced ease. . . .

I startled back to
consciousness,
Just before I pulled
the trigger.
Then my thoughts strayed
Back to an earlier time
When Carolina had been
mine, alone. . . .

Before I second guessed
My beliefs & tears
Of what might happen next,
I lifted the purple phone
From the cradle
And started dialing
her number
From a memory of ages ago.

I prayed to Jesus in earnest.
Hoping to eventually hear
Carolina's sweet voice
On the other end of the line.
As I heard the ringing,
I screamed her name in
phenomenal victory.
I finally won the best prize!


© Kris Bailey

2-20-24.