remembering how calm it felt
blacked out in the backyard
a stone’s throw from humanity
rolling dice with the devil

made my bed
can't lay in it

a warm body and a little spoon
watching you
cooking in the kitchen

somewhere there's a better me
breaking less eggs
the life of the party

the effort it takes
to simply exist

better clean up my act
before I make another mess

testing my patience
playing with fire

missing the chaos
and hating it

toiling molding me
peeling my skin back

waiting in line for a headache

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