I sit alone in a corner of the school courtyard, headphones on, pretending to work.

The chickadees are playing in a nearby willow tree (I didn’t know they even stuck around through the heat, since I only ever see them in the winter.),

and every so often, the sudden flapping of pigeon wings catches my attention through the music.

I complimented someone’s sweater today, secretly hoping that they would burst into an exclamation about how we should be friends and go thrifting together and sit together in the cafeteria. But that’s not how it works.

I’m doing this for myself, always.

I just need to get good grades and get out of here.

The sun is beaming on my laptop and I’m worried it will get too hot and blow up.

As it blankets my arms too, I pray it gives my arms some color.

I spent too long today studying my skin like a map and noticing all the little red dots and stretch marks, not enjoying the character they give.

A bee came near me and I did not react.

A roly-poly that was running in circles a minute ago has now snapped out of it.

I’m starting to feel better about my DIY haircut from last month.



© lj brooks