Blue pain
Penetrating, piercing
The soul crawls away screaming
Like a child about to be killed
Reaching for the pointy wrong thing
Colourful and negative
Unstoppable foe
A splinter under the skin
Pulled through my calculations

Colourless tangible
Pain incomprehensible
Inaudible noise that only my ears can hear
I'd tear it up and throw it away
Disease, contagion
It's settled on my lungs
To take away all I have
And now I'm a feeling body

In the soul of a dead and stabbed trauma
You must feel it and you can't say a word
For it's inexpressible
I've got to be a glutton for life
It takes the sparkle from my eyes
I hear nothing but a deathly scream

A constricted chest
Body stays in one place
Won't let me go, it's angry inside
A desperate whimper
Hopeless flight
Killing something inside me
It fights and I don't know why
I just feel it
And I know and I don't understand
They killed a piece of me

No time for tears
It stings so much
Poison I can't swallow
I scream softly
I know I'm dying
As he screams inside me
I know he's dead
This was the way it had to be

Thought
Already another
The previous one is not even visible
A lost round
I didn't get anywhere
They wouldn't have let me

Crushed and weakened
It hurt in vain
I had to go
And they killed in vain
Washed away by tears
Sometimes you couldn't even see
Sometimes he played with me


Mature, jagged
It scrubs my face bloody
Every hateful thought that wishes me dead
Disease
Innocent heart turned black
Every filthy worm
Negativity has killed
Yet I smiled all the while

Strength don't leave me
Gotta go pick it up
Good for all
Not a bad decision to make
Try not to kill it

I'm tired and alive
Colourlessly shining
My hopeless shadow
Buried behind me
Torn from
My murdered piece


Breathe
You've got what to do
To die alive
Teach me
To stay alive
School within me
Two shifts
More tiring than ever
Could have done better with help

I'm holding on and I'm on the edge
No pain, I'm screaming
I beg and I cry
Will I ever see again?
Will I find a way to heal?

There is no deep water,
The abyss projected
I've been fooled
There is no pain
Yet do I feel it?
How can I be alive
I woke from a dream with terrors
There are demons inside me
Hiding and tormenting me
My hands are shaking
But I'm still holding on
To life I've found
To keep me from giving up


And then tell me I'm overreacting
After this I hope I die black and colourless and alive
Hoping to be colourful and full of life
Taking a deep breath
Looking for a way out
I'm a survivor
I survived,
So it's more dangerous to live now
Cause what I'm holding on to
It's easy and hard to let go
You've got to hold on because hold on

I go to the grave of my soul
To say flowers
Meaningless words of emotion
I comfort you
They hurt me and here I am
Everything in me has left a void
I am a survivor
I am strong
Strongly hoping for colors
With blue pain
I am dying.
Hoping to live
I can bring more
Hold on for something to hold on to

I'm colored
Stars with all the power
From pain
From empty everything
Noiselessness
Knowing that I have forgiven
The pain that killed me
For so he taught me
Tortured and weakened
Made me stronger
Hoping to be lifeless