I can't help but wonder and be stressed about what my future will look like.
Everything feels gloomy and the road ahead is dark, i can't see anything.
God has promised me in his word not to worry and have hope and faith, that everything is going to be okay,
But how can i keep the faith and hope when each time i rise, i am forcefully pulled down?
How can i keep the faith when there isn't anything to hold onto?
How can i keep the faith when everything i touch or try to do falls apart?
I try to hold onto the success stories of others,
that you must embrace the struggles and keep fighting with everything you have in order to make it.
But how much more fight do i have left in me?
I am exhausted
I don't know how to carry on
I don't know how to have faith and hope that everything is going to be okay.
I look at myself and doubt.
Doubt that i am enough.
Doubt that i am capable.
Doubt that i am actually good at anything.
I have allowed the darkness to consume me.
Maybe my pains will go away.
Maybe i am just a big complainer.
Maybe i haven't worked hard enough
Maybe someone is going through worse and i am just being ungrateful.
But it hurts.
My situation is painful and i wish God could take it all away.
I want things to be better
I want that so badly
I don't know how long i have to endure the pain
I don't know how long i have to fight but,
In the meantime my future still remains uncertain.
© magz