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Endings
#YearEndEchoes
Endings are always a sober time to reflect on the journey so far. How we started, where we missed our way, lessons we learned, heart aches we've had to grow through and so much more. For me though, 2023 is beyond an outer reflection, it's more of an introspection.
I think the most memorable aspect of this whole year for me was the career struggles. In hindsight, it was all a part of the big picture but in that moment, going through it, there was no way to make a holistic sense of things beyond motivational speeches and quotes here and there.
Nothing is as frustrating as desiring something so badly, you sleep and wake with thoughts of it circulating your brain and yet in reality you cannot grasp it. It's always dangled within your reach to keep you hopeful but when you stretch out your hands to grab a hold of it, it slips through your fingers only to dance right back before your eyes, an ever deranging cycle.
When I think back on the year now, I realize I was lost for most of the year. For someone whose name quite literally means believing in the impossible without doubt, I've struggled with doubt and questioning my self confidence a lot this year and to think I was the root cause of my suffering... I guess it's always darkest close to the light and we rarely see our own faults.
Contentment, it's crazy how that one word handles a whole lot without being big or proud. I lost my contentment this year and I chased dreams so badly I didn't even have a thorough understanding of the things I desired any longer, I just wanted my desires met without truly caring how it came about and that built dreams and fantasies that wouldn't let me be which brought me all the way from discontentment to ingratitude and complaining.
When I compare 2022 and 2023, with the light I've seen now, it's so clear to see...
Endings are always a sober time to reflect on the journey so far. How we started, where we missed our way, lessons we learned, heart aches we've had to grow through and so much more. For me though, 2023 is beyond an outer reflection, it's more of an introspection.
I think the most memorable aspect of this whole year for me was the career struggles. In hindsight, it was all a part of the big picture but in that moment, going through it, there was no way to make a holistic sense of things beyond motivational speeches and quotes here and there.
Nothing is as frustrating as desiring something so badly, you sleep and wake with thoughts of it circulating your brain and yet in reality you cannot grasp it. It's always dangled within your reach to keep you hopeful but when you stretch out your hands to grab a hold of it, it slips through your fingers only to dance right back before your eyes, an ever deranging cycle.
When I think back on the year now, I realize I was lost for most of the year. For someone whose name quite literally means believing in the impossible without doubt, I've struggled with doubt and questioning my self confidence a lot this year and to think I was the root cause of my suffering... I guess it's always darkest close to the light and we rarely see our own faults.
Contentment, it's crazy how that one word handles a whole lot without being big or proud. I lost my contentment this year and I chased dreams so badly I didn't even have a thorough understanding of the things I desired any longer, I just wanted my desires met without truly caring how it came about and that built dreams and fantasies that wouldn't let me be which brought me all the way from discontentment to ingratitude and complaining.
When I compare 2022 and 2023, with the light I've seen now, it's so clear to see...
