I am so close to breaking down,
How do I express what I feel,
When I don't even know what it is?
My mind is filled with thoughts,
Desperately needing someone to talk to.

But we both know you wouldn't talk,
Yes, you, the organ my rib protects,
Sometimes I wonder why you need protection,
You seem okay keeping it all inside,
Even the pain you feel.

The fear of betrayal stops you from opening up,
Even if I can't remember who hurt you,
You swallow things, lock them away,
Hiding your true feelings from me,
Or maybe I'm just not in touch with you anymore.

I hate to admit it to myself,
But it's hard to decipher what I feel,
At the end of the day, everything gets jumbled up,
Just like my thoughts and these words I write.

My first attempt was messy,
Just like my attempt to connect with you,
This so-called poem reflects the confusion,
But I swear no one has hurt me,
At least, that's what I think I'm sure of.

It's exhausting to be out of reach from myself.


© Amira