Here I go spiraling again,
feels like I'm overthinking again.
Do they even like me,
you know they clearly don't.

Here I go all depressed again,
feel like life isn't worth it.
Would I really be better dead,
would that erase all my pain?

No, I don't find the answer,
I tell myself excuses and lies.
I make up imaginary reasons,
for why I ought to be alive.

Last chance I really blew it,
had a good friendship and fucked it.
So fuck myself for everything,
hope I die on an accident.

Always felt like a mistake,
always hated being at home.
Hate my childhood, hate love,
hate everything I've done.

You know what fucking sucks?
Burying these scars till I bleed,
till I got no more energy,
I think I lied I'm really dying.

Wish to just not exist at all,
wish to just fucking die.
All this weight I still carry,
all this regret I still carry.

I'm fucking done, goodbye,
not pretending anymore.
The day you told me that,
most of me was burned whole.

© dats_poetry