I Fell For Your Shadow
This is dedicated to my beautiful butterfly, my northern star in the night, the flare to my spark, and the smile under my mask. I hope, no. I pray you never get to read this letter, or rather poem. My thoughts, for which were once a safe place, only made room for one thing, you. As I write this I know now it is not my thoughts that betray me, but my heart. It's like it has a mind of its own. As if it doesn't beat for just me, but for you. Every girl in my stories is defined by you. Everytime I blink provokes a smile that reminds me of you, and every tenuous attempt to manifest anything other than you only paints pictures of my deepest desires, you. I don't want your apology nor do I wish for a response. I only wish for you to see what I saw. A conspiring woman who bleaks blindness upon its bearer. You taught me a lesson I didn't know I needed to learn. You taught me values worth more than diamonds without uttering the words. You opened my eyes even though I was unaware they were closed and ultimately webbed my actions to your parlor, though you never tried to. I guess that's what love does to you. You see you taught me so much in a short period of time which felt like a lifetime, before our concluding cancellation policy I would like to say…..I forgive you. You taught me effort so if I could see you one more time, I would wish you nothing but happiness and to please, forget about me. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own body and you showed me that but I've learned through my own self preservation that in my words still beats my heart. Deep within my pen dwells my lurking soul and between my eyes masks a dam of tears I locked up so tight that if it broke again, it would drown me from the inside. So please accept my forgiveness, for my love for you tainted through my fingers, painting depictions of us in highlighted segues for myself to witness on repeat over and over again. I hope and pray with every inch of my being to please, please, my god. Please, never look for me. You are a kryptonite I'm not willing to discover again, you are a star I'm not willing to gaze upon again, you are a pleasure I'm not willing to tolerate, and you my beautiful butterfly in all your beloved and glory, are a poem I've written so many times in so many different ways. This is my goodbye. You've underestimated my love for you or perhaps…you never knew what love truly meant. Love poems were always easy for me to write and you've made that so much easier so again, I must thank you. You made me a better person. Enjoy this poem, I hope you never get to read it. Yours truly, the lover of your shadow.
To my crimson starlight, though this is a letter,
Read it if you want right? This is for the better
Whether it's for pain or pleasure,
The strings to my heart are completely severed.
Going to take more than an apology for it to be tethered.
She is the blue to my sea, the pool of my happiness,
She is the bloom of my seed, a cocoon full of classiness,
She's like the handle on my steed, the pull to my craftiness,
She's like the fixed to my needs, a vast drug of handiness.
My baby acted on instinct, I followed her as she lingered,
I'm like her hair, you had me wrapped around your finger.
Interconnecting like the moon to the tide,
Moments within those times
Relates you to that blazing ball up high
Shining brightly in the night, better than lightning across the...
To my crimson starlight, though this is a letter,
Read it if you want right? This is for the better
Whether it's for pain or pleasure,
The strings to my heart are completely severed.
Going to take more than an apology for it to be tethered.
She is the blue to my sea, the pool of my happiness,
She is the bloom of my seed, a cocoon full of classiness,
She's like the handle on my steed, the pull to my craftiness,
She's like the fixed to my needs, a vast drug of handiness.
My baby acted on instinct, I followed her as she lingered,
I'm like her hair, you had me wrapped around your finger.
Interconnecting like the moon to the tide,
Moments within those times
Relates you to that blazing ball up high
Shining brightly in the night, better than lightning across the...