Isn't towards anybody or anything
It's not because of trivial matter
It's eternal, eternal hate that builds
I dont hate anyone
I dont hate anything
I hate myself
Self-hate is a big thing I believe
It can lead to a lot of things
It can start from a lot of things
My self-hate is different
It's just been there as I grew up
Always lurking in the shadows
Hiding in the darkness waiting to strike
Anyone would look at me and ask why
'Why do you hate yourself?'
'How did this start?'
Do I need a reason to hate myself
Do I have to tell some bullshit answer
A lie that you will believe and try to fix
I dont have a reason
Who would like me anyway
I'm an idiot
A brainless person who shouldn't be here
Everything around me turns bad
Everyone around me struggles
How could anyone live like that
Live with a person so infuriating
My self-hate was never something that just developed
It was always with me before I realized it
If I wasn't such a coward
Such a weakling I would have listened to it years ago
It told me everyone would be better if I was gone
I'm making everyone miserable with my existence
But I'm such a wimp I chickened out of saying goodbye
I regret it every day
Wondering how much happier life would have been for those I loved if I was gone
I never belonged here, I was never supposed to stay here
There is no place on this earth for me anymore
The only place left to go is to the ground
That's a fitting place for such a lowlife like me
My hate is the only thing that understands me
It knows exactly where I belong
It knows all I've done wrong, all my weaknesses
The only judge that can give me the proper sentencing for someone like me
I can't even be called a human being
My existence is the root of all hardships they suffered
Me being a burden caused so many to suffer from my inadequacy in life
The consequence of living all these years
For not listening when I had the chance to save everyone from such miseries
My hate made the warnings very clear if I didn't listen
Now everyone lives in a nightmare
There is only one way I could apologize for my sins
To finish what I couldn't all those years ago
If only I would have heeded the warnings none of this would have happened
My hate was right all along
You cant fix the unfixable
© orchi1987