the truth is I haven’t been okay
and I’ve been slowly trying to sew myself together with a needle and thread
but getting nowhere because they unravel
unravel and unraveling until the inevitable collapse
carries me away like the ocean does the waves
drowning drowning and drowning
until I am no more than just a purple face
with my spirit hovering above wishing I could have become more
I think about what it would be like to be wisped away into the dark and nothingness
the unknown, where no light can be seen and not a sound can be heard
where my heart would stop thumping so loudly in my ears
where I’d have to no longer wish to disappear
where the pain would finally be gone
that has led me almost bedridden in all my years
my life has been taken from me
and my feet are sinking through the dirt
I am becoming rotten fruit
will it hurt will it hurt
-k.m.
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