I had such hope for you the day you were born.
That day, before words like enmeshment knew me.
Covert, the body holds the genetic blueprint
for exactly how I could ruin your life. How
I tried to become an exorcist but I was always
destined to fail and become my own demons.
I became the one who hounded you all your days.
Me, a chorus at my back, ancestors raised voices
demanding a repeat performance, an encore
to this tragic play where the lead role goes
to no one. But each and every player believes
it went to them. I said I would never let you
feel like you didn't matter. I never wanted you
to inherit this loneliness. This urge to drift,
unstable and unhappy. My own footsteps,
trudged on endlessly, somehow believing you
wouldn't see me slam into walls
and follow my lead.

© Averil Sperry