Whitewashed
Behind that smile
A rage that has destroyed the self
Anger led to hatred
Hatred has led to wrong belief
And the cricle of toxicities
Continues to deteriorate me
May I sit in a silence so deserved
Every breath is a chance to breathe anew
Beliefs die hard
Habits die with a bitter fight
Is there a light to guide
Is there a fight to fight
Bitterness between my teeth
I’ve lived dying of desire
There’s a fire to fight
Beneath my bones
A liar’s bed is cold
A bed of nails and barbed wire
Have left scars upon my soul
Wounds that I use to exploit Grace
A festering mess of rot and death
Save this wretch, Father, turn Your eyes upon my heart
Turn your eyes upon all of me
Save me from this pit
Balance, bring into balance my heart
Bring into balance my soul
These extremes are wearing paper thin
Come inside clear the whitewash away
Pen and ink are oft used as ammunition
Gunshot emotion
A bloody ocean
A heart caught in the motions
Reveal, revive, and cleanse this soul inside
Meoldic memory for the Pharisee
All I see in me is nothing of worth
Simplicity is a concept that I cannot grasp
Relapse, cycle the circle
I mean circle the cycle again and again
To destroy the soil
Soured by strong flesh desires
Lack of drive to grow, the simplicity is lost in me
A fire to destroy
All crops I’ve planted
Foolish, taken for granted
It’s a burn that severs nerves
Ammunition burns
Through these gunshot emotions
Erratic, rampant, casket for the charade
Whitewash, the blind lead the blind
Whitewash, You’ve seen through every lie
Concealment is a fool’s game
Expose these weak bones
Break through these prison bars
But comfort has a wicked grip around my throat
Whitewashed religion
Foolish vision
Nothing left but soil and snow
No good fruit
There’s still room to grow
You desire to show mercy
To those weak of mind, of contrite heart
Tear all these walls down
Rip them apart
Call me out to sea
I will step out in storm or calm
This is the process of becoming
A man of God, so tired judging
Myself for all mistakes
Bandaids on bullet holes
I’m tired of bleeding through
Striving for straw that I will never grasp
A river flows from a spring
Oh, that I may drink again
Patience for the process
A new perspective doesn’t come fast
Grace for the patience
Enduring what won’t last
You’ve given me gifts that I have all but squandered
Take every cell of my body and use it for the glory of God
The path is mine to walk alone
Never alone, on the road home
I feel change coming
As if spring has finally broken through
I am white as snow