I told the stanger in the room upstairs I would be coming soon
why did I feel more at ease, why did I think I would be more at peace up there?
I wanted to feel that feeling, that serotonin
That chemical that gets me into all this trouble
I try to be quiet as I gather my stuff to walk out the door
I wake someone up, they ask where I’m going
it’s obvious
I say the bathroom but I’m carrying a blanket and a pillow
and my shoes
I’m barefoot
I close the door
I climb the green stairs, with their green bumps barefoot
the blanket another stranger gave me brushes each step as I climb up
I’m not thinking about why he wants me there, not really…
Im thinking about the feeling, how good if feels
how I want it to feel real
I’m thinking about how I want him to kiss me, cuddle me, make me feel wanted
it’s 3 am and Im at his door
he opens it
I fall asleep in his bed
at first we face away from one another, over the...