#WritcoPoemChallenge
The smile on my face is real,
It bears witness to how I feel...

I will see you soon son
I will hold you, never let go

mom is hurt,angry and being mislead
mom cant see you'll be able to read one day....

all the nasty stuff and cruel comments
moms cant comprehend it
guerrilla warfare with your kid ,his life

uhtred dad gets it
she has every right to be extraordinarily man
dad was a gangster and only knew violence blood and pain

uhtred then I met you
consumed with fear and doubt
bills our house I was only 22 her 23

I wish postpartum
dads depression
hate for my dad never being
I scared to be a dad sadly
I let that lead me to
mom and dads love to die, violence drugs

dad lost his mind
mom lost hers to

both lost consumed and Confused
dad called grandma
when it got bad
sadists thing I had to do,watch too

December 25 2019 i saw, felt you
I am sorry son
I wish mom didn't want dad dead
I wish she see that monster in me dead and gone

I just wish for more time
one hour a week is fair in courts eyes

drug test, subject most be supervised at visits to
monsters like I was son are seen as a waste

dad became a gangster to take away my moms pain
100 bills I'd hide for her
I will never forget my dad was never there or cared

that is what filled me with hate, anger
obsessive point
I'd kill him if he ever called himself my
dad

I know its bad truly sad

I am not him
I will fight
I will take court time
I will tell my story
I will see you son
I will never lie about what happened
83 days now
I cant sleep son
I cant eat
I cant even have a good dream
I feel like killing myself
I know drugs will numb this pain
I know if I do all never see you again
I know this is her plan

the only way to beat me
uhtred dad is sorry son
mom useing you like a bargaining chip
mom want dad to suffer
ironically dad feels like hes already dead inside

dad lives in hell
oh well her attempts will be vitriolic
the plans he has his only catastrophic to

you and I son

12% time of your life truly a tragedy
travesty how can this be fair
the quartz pre-decided like they don't even care

I am sorry uhtred that I am your dad
look it all I've done

dad was a gangster and mom was what they call the one and you perfect in every way

dad walks 150 meters away to say goodnight
I love you
walk home say sorry
lay down go to bed

these are my monsters now
no clips
no straps
no deals
none of that hunts me now

just numbers, courts ,83 days now...........see you soon my lil man