I remember to the tiniest detail of how their words cut through my heart.
I was very young and naive, but not enough to be useless.
Those who took me in made sure I paid for all I got from them
Even the oxygen in their home
My siblings looked up to me for the strength I didn't have until I learnt how to survive for them to survive.

I was told you will always be nothing.
I was told you will not accomplish anything.
I was told you are a waste of resources.
I was told I was too dumb to decide on anything meaningful.
The words killed me emotionally until I learnt to leave without emotions.

I grew, I proved them wrong.
I showed the world that I am a peculiar person.
I conquered even when they said I wouldn't.
I won over them.
I got the sweet victory.

But is it true to say I won over them?
Why did their negativity stuck on my brain.
I can't give love to the ones that expect me to.
I tell my loved ones the words that broke me.
I hurt those who truly ever loved me.

Yes they already won
I lost this battle because they left a mark that is difficult to erase.
It's a stain on my character that I don't know how to erase.
I can't let them win.
This misery must not be a part of me forever.

© annastasia