The urge so strong, I want to submit.
It’s so simple, just a decision to quit.
Quit breathing, quit this meaningless quest.
I couldn’t care less about the beat inside my chest.

Motionless acts of self-destruction playing on repeat.
What to do now? Oh! Time to overeat!
Feeling so lost, which way do I go?
The thought of getting up disgusts me, that’s all I know.

Desire, that hot, passionate feeling,
why can’t I feel that when it comes to healing?
Healing myself, my mind, my spirit,
throw in sex, it’s time to spin it!

Sex, now that’s something I miss,
but how to get it in this bottomless abyss?
‘Cuz even the vision of a scorching affair
couldn’t make me want to brush my own hair.

I’m sober, so painfully sober,
the thirst for blood is growing stronger.
Where’s my life? What’s the purpose?
I’m like an animal in the circus.

Just to please other people,
should I jump off that steeple?
To forget my own existence,
to give in, demonic persistence.

Might make me feel alive,
the sense of freedom as I dive.
It's questionable at best,
for I know there won’t be any rest.

My soul won’t know saving,
I’m stuck in this room and the walls are caving.
The helplessness will be too much,
one day I won’t be here for you to touch.

Touch me! Feel my frame!
Make me feel something, even shame!
But this void is consuming, it's too intense.
Time to let the lethargy commence!

Fleeting moments, visions of the past,
I’m certain I will never last.
An expressionless canvas, that’s my face.
Forcing a smile, just in case.

Can’t let them know my thoughts,
I must hide my darkest spots.
"It’s okay, everything will be fine!"
Yeah, you just have to ignore the sign.


© Darali May