HONEST
BY C.WYNTER

I had to sit with depressions truth, I am nothing,
All this fighting, for what? failure approaching,
I tried so hard but everything I touch turns to dust,
All that big talk of possibilities, now it's all too much,
And it laughs so hard at the naive girl that once had goals,
Ashamed, I hide into myself, I just thought, I was so sure,
I could be better, break the generational burden,
All that's left me is beyond bruised and deeply hurting,
I thought I was strong, I once thought I was a fighter,
Depression mocks me severely, is all I'm meant to do is suffer?,
I sit with the question, do you even love yourself?,
Self critical to the core, I see no good, just darkness and death,
It's so cold here, sitting alone in the void, it's never over,
I can't explain it to anyone, misunderstood, life's a disaster,
I don't know who I am anymore, in fact I never did,
Done so much wrong to survive, even God couldn't forgive,
For how dare I try to be happy?, fool, how dare I dream?
So disappointed within myself, I deserve all this misery,
No one beats depression around me, if I'm being honest,
I can't win against this presence, a life lost within the darkness.
© C.Wynter