There once lived a little lad oh-so aptly named Ekambar
Who could not stop himself from making huge headway day by day
When he was born, his mother wished her precious ham would go far
Boy oh boy, did the god of gods hear her out and fully pay

At one-month-old, he started sprouting impressively swifty
Two months old, growing like a weed, he'd shot up by thrice in size
Four months old, when his mom told folks his age, they eyed her shifty
At six months old, medicine men were cueing to analyze
By his first birthday, his mother was lifting him quite stiffly
At two, he was hellish to hold but struggled to realize...
To cope with her pain, his mother went hard on the rye whisky
When he hit three, he was staring his mother straight in the eyes

At four years old, his head poked a hole through to the upper floor
Then he, wooden dinosaur in hand, grew straight through that ceiling
His mom, unsure of with what she was dealing, showed him the door
He was kicking and squealing — at his mom's feet he was kneeling

Yet she led him past the harp-plucking centaur by the palace
She met with the male monarch to peddle her heightening stock
She bid the young boy — to seal the deal they clinked sodden chalice
She downed her happy juice wearing a downright mollified gawk
She said a quick bye to her baby boy — it was quite callous
She took her golden egg-laying goose and back home they did walk

The king told the boy to dance but Ekambar had two left feet
The king demanded he sing — he handed him notes on a sheet
His...