mentioning of sexual abuse. please take care and talk to someone if something happened.

No means no,
but there is so much more that means no.

,,I don’t know“ means no.
,,Wait“ means no.
,,get off“ means no.
,,I am tired“ means no.
,,I am not ready“ means no.
,,I am not sure“ means no.
,,I don’t feel comfortable“ means no.
,,not now“ means no.
,,I don’t want to“ means no.
Being drunk means no.
Being asleep means no.
Silence means no.
Crying means no.
and shaking means no.

Some people just don’t get it.
Like you.
you didn’t get it when I said I am not comfortable.
You didn’t get it when I said I am not ready.
You didn’t get it when I said not now.
You didn’t get it when I said no.
You just touched me.
My leg.
My shoulder.
My hips.

Congratulations.
Now you’re in my nightmares.
Now I still feel your hands.
Now I am so sensitive about this topic that I can’t watch Netflix or read the book for English class.

It does affect people.
It does affect me.

I got these memories back.
they came like waves.
but without a warning.
now there is so much on me that I know now.
but I can’t talk about it
and the two people I told, they are on vacation now.

© lisann