You met me at my lowest;
At a point where I'd choose to jump off a bridge
and fade into nothingness.
But you didn't save me, I did.

It wasn't because you hung out with me all day
that made me decide to stay.
It wasn't because you sent me messages at night
just to have me crack a smile.
It wasn't because you'd brought me flowers at school
just to be able to convince me to skip classes with you.
It wasn't because you wrote me notes and poems each day,
and send me Virginia Woolf quotes
just to make sure I'm okay.
It was never you, it was all me.
I did save myself.
I just happen to have enjoyed your company while doing it.
The truth is,
that's what I used to think
But I don't feel that way anymore.
I'm slowly starting to realize
none of it would have happened without you;
and because of that, I am starting to miss you so bad.
But this isn't your usual 'disappearance' thing;
Death isn't something you can come back from.
So wherever you are,
I hope you found paradise and happiness on the other side.

© Pat Alfonso