Wanting someone but settling for down the street. Feeling this way makes one feel incomplete. Liking them because they make me feel good, can't have it because my mentality is Urban and want the Hood. Can't have anything Real for the Streets have taught me good. My mentality has learned me to steal leaving wounds in my heart that can Never heal. It seemed he was playing at first glance. Not knowing he blocked the others in which he had a chance. Narrowed it down to just only me. Thinking he was juggling, a clown he'll never be. Fucking it up, like I've taught myself well. He's the only Mf'er that won't lead me to Hell. But, I'm not ready for a Real Man like he. I need to be in chains so I'm never set free. He had the keys to my shackles, a jealous bitch which is me. Like a fool he's waiting for me to call and let him know. He wants to set me free. Hoping I see his words, praying I don't kick them rocks. Nevermore shall I be free. As I walk away, and he sees this is true. Don't want to be happy, dont want to feel free. Don't want to make progress, so forever my heart shall I sabotage. Forever a dead end street. Forever Blue. Forever I hold mine own heart hostage. Forever mine future shall I trip on purpose. A nice lonely box to trade for less than I deserve. A painful little treat that misses him by a hair as he avoids it on the swerve.
© Dale A Martinez