One time I read a book
In which a character wanted to steal her ending
she wasn’t successful though
she died sinking in her dreams

I’d loved that line since forever
I want to live by her words
but what if

what if I’m bound to the strains of the physical cage I’m in?
what if I am not capable of leaving?
the stars twinkle bright every night
I wish to touch them but I feel like I’m sinking

All the time
I want to leave this hole
All the time
Abandon the scars the wars left me with
And escape not even with bandages

I’d run away bleeding
My bare feet staining the roads
But I’d be free in the world
but what if

what if I’m bound to the pain in the page I’m glued
what if I am not capable of continuing?
the past wrinkles my plans every night
I wish to forget everything

The happy stories always seemed bitter to me
They weren’t real
They forced me to dig a hole so deep
To find the tragedies in shades of teal
I’d drown in the lives of others
While I waited for mine to start
I started writing about my own strangers
While I was fated to be marked
As the chronically melancholic girl
Who never tried hard
Who died so harmoniously
And lived only in hopes to depart

I feel stars close to me
They’re burning my skin
But if this is the only warmth I feel
Why not take it in?

what if I’m not around to witness the biggest leaps of humankind?
what if I’m not fast enough to achieve what was meant to be mine?
the future seems so close yet so far
I wish to live where the dreamers are

what will start it?
what will be the signs?
I wish not to end it all
before knowing what will be mine



© Arshi