Why do I avoid you?
I see you and I get anxious yet I become happy to see you’re doing well
Feels like a jumpscare within my chest cavity
My breath gets caught in my throat for a second and suddenly I can’t think
I can’t speak
I can’t…anything

I asked the universe for positive signs
And I keep receiving them, thank goodness
Yellow flowers
I see them every day
I’ve seen them countless times today
And then I saw you

Sitting outside the lecture hall waiting for your friend who’s in my class
Sitting there with your hair in a ponytail
Wearing that hoodie I love so much, you look so cute in it
I remember when you bought it

Eyes glued to your phone, with your headphones in
I know you saw me, we avoided eye contact
It’s still awkward
You said don’t be a stranger
And yet every time I see you I pass you by
Too nervous to say anything

Worried about if you’ll feel bothered if I say hello
Or ask how you are
Worried you don’t want to speak to me
Worried you loathe me

I wouldn’t blame you if you did

I know you said you’d come to me when you’re ready
I’m so impatient, but I love you so
I’ll wait, as long as it takes
But then I ask myself,

Who will say hello first when passing by?
Who will beat the anxiety and just speak up?
When will we get over this awkward nervousness and just talk to each other?
Who will start the conversation?

© thecryingchild