I have come to a realization. 
No matter how many times I am taught a lesson
I never truly learned 
The pain that comes from these situations 
I feel I deserve 
All I ever asked for was to be understood. 
All I have ever gotten was being treated like an idiot.
I admit and accept my faults. My emotions can get the best of me sometimes.
That doesn't excuse being treated as if I'm brainless and worthless.
Everything is always my fault. 
Yet I am always the one who has to come up with a solution. 
problems that aren't my concern 
I find myself detaching from the world. 
I don't enjoy reading like I used to. 
It happens so fast that one day you're enjoying the spring weather.
The next thing you're contemplating is just leaving everything and everyone behind. 
Let me be selfish.
I never got to mourn the little girl who had to suffer for me to become the woman I am today. 
That suffering didn't shape me. It broke me into shards of myself embedded deep in dark places. 
I no longer want to live my life with someone or have kids. 
I just want to go somewhere and enjoy time with my dog while the world forgets about my existence.
To a place where I won't ever bother anyone again. 
I haven't found that place yet. 
But soon enough, the time will come that I will get out of this insufferable prison. 
Find Freedom 
Find Peace
Find self-love. 
Find a life worth living. 
Then I might come back and say my hellos and quick goodbyes. 
Spend time with my family. My niece and nephew 
My brothers
And from there, only destiny can tell.