I thought I had everything under control

But I was quick to realize I have no control at all.

Not over me,
Not over them.

My life isn’t my life,
I belong to something or someone….
Or so it seems.

I do know that I can’t take my own life….
If anything,
the only person I’d miss
would be my wife…
So why would I hesitate and resist
If I have no reason left to live?
If.
If I were to.
You know,
To put on a show.
Then make a big scene,
To try to be seen.
To be noticed
and not worthless.
If…
If I could….
….I would
And if I did,
Find fulfillment…
People would only stare in amazement,
acting as if they are sad,
All while actually glad.
Secretly seeing and seizing
And opportunity of great worth.
One that originated with my birth.

Taking pictures and recording,
Making a
Mockery of
My “once in a lifetime”,
Morbid Death.
A Death that happened under hypnosis,
In a dream.
A Death which was only an exit
from a life
where nothing was what it seemed.
A life
̸U̸n̸f̸o̸c̸u̸s̸e̸d̸
A life that no one
had ever noticed.


© MistEerie(Shilo)