You asked me
is it really cruel to leave?
you told me: the world is a lie
leaving is the truth
it's on people's tongues for ages
but it is only love
even the brightest blossom
may wither in dimmest red -
so why did you cry?
why didn't you just go?
if I look away, there's no waves
if I don't scream, I'll have no heart
if the pain of this world
is not meeting you
in the moonlight tonight
I can still leave here;
but must you
give no reason to?

You asked again
is loving that shameful?
does tenderness
cost me that much?
if I could, I might ask:
is it better to speak or die
a step forth to the dusk?
or is it easier
to confess to the winds
running to stay still?
taking everything
to say nothing
that's how life is
I don't believe lies
for no reason
I still cannot cry for you
your warmth is too cold
and bitter on my face

I cannot say
what I cannot feel -
is the danger worth
the hold of your hand?
is it kinder to betray
the dawning look in your eyes?
I can't describe
when or where it began
day and night
the search for something
feeding all I ever had
amongst waves of faceless crowds
who was I - forgotten
why dream of a heart I never had?
loneliness can only be my home

Are you still waiting
for a nonexistent word
a slip of tongue
a boat that never comes?
the tide leaves with your heart
it comes
still without reply
the calm is an illusion
you are trapped between -
one too late
one long gone;
poets pretend
the audience, heartless
in the storm, you can't tell who returns
a brush of your shoulder
a millennium worth of dreams
or a fool who lost his soul
in writing poems unread?

You warned me
we can't hide from fate
we can't fake our sleep forever
I asked you
what are you afraid of?
what do you know!
there's nothing
at the first place -
don't ask for me
I've already drowned
my tongue is tied to the sea
I've died long ago
heartless
I don't really understand
what you are waiting for
dumbass
my heart was you
you know?
© Elvin