So many piling anguish on this fragile heart.
I speak of pain like a historian well versed on stories of broken love,
Alas narrating of a budding dream bereft of a happy ending to provoke lasting romance.
Smiling spontaneously yet Conveying exuberant emotions like a pious preacher determined to gain fellowship.
Caught between pain and freedom,memories cutting fresh wounds and telling repeatedly of the hardship to open doors of relief.

So many gripping vices loosening their hold in my drunken rumbling..
Tethered to a past that is replaying similar scenes with different scripts to keep the pain emerging shelving hope.

A pantomime performance with hilarious moments to fuel laughter yet conveying a series of emotional truth with dexterous abstract;
A perceived act of entertainment with a sound track of building applause hiding agony in comedy..

A ramshackled building reconstructed to endure the burden of history on reinforced strength and rotting foundation. I am a Trojan horse offering peace crafted with majestic skill worthy of praise.
Yet l suffer wrathful nightmares terrorising the night with unimaginable horrors turning cheerful voices into pleading screams as my heart crumble and sanity bleed pools.

I am drunkard sipping on expensive poison for peaceful slumbers lost in the bliss of trading youthful glow for temporary oblivion.
A harlot in the shadow lost in the frolics of pleasure to lure a sailor's pocket enduring bruising hands illuminating evidence of brutality in daylight smeared with makeup to hide the shame..

l am a writer with a pencil scribbling a story with an imaginary twist numerously erasing the plot merely to create a Prince charming out of a cursed frog.
The ticking pendulum constantly reminding of the fading charm turning swiftly into decaying stink with an odor of lasting consequences.

I am a coward returning to a childhood cabin to befriend ghosts of insecurities just to cement blame in the mansion I store unhappiness.
A proficient caretaker of demons l feed a feast of happiness withering the blossom of my heart.

l am calm seas with skeleton sentries swinging from ropes holding the last bone on a broken neck,
A warning simbolizing failed quests journeyed in search for fulfilment in the lures of pleasure.

Am l cutting stones hoping to see blood?
Can David's harp sooth my seething pain or am l cranking the Pandora box for sweet melodies unleashing the horrors within?
So many questions drilling holes in my conscious drying my brains like a peg on a wire to fry in the heat.

How can l control this anger when l lose control it's called aggression and they adorn my wrists with metals..
When l forgive it burns the insides of my mind splashing blisters akin to an acid furnace.

Why is love always demanding vulnerability if it's meant to heal not exploit..
Why do we fall in love with broken reflections that will cut deeper wounds scaring our already imperfect images.

I want to love the future not the familiarity breeding comfort of being understood hence similar experiences..
I want to love the strength l absorb when feeling vulnerable not acknowledge my fears because l won't have..

I want rainbows to cease the storms vanquishing peace in the settlement of a heart that once knew tranquility.
I want a future that will not be another memory plastered on the wall.

I want to feel the hands of bliss
reaching the depth of my soul to reveal the moisture on this hard rock.
Every hero needs saving too from the musk of rage and vengeance..
Just a gentle smile and a caring whisper to summon love home.

I need immortality in a Paradise that will be layed like an onion with mystery and passion.
I hate wearing black singing the funeral blues to an immature demise of love that might have been...

© luisRupende