Isn't it funny?
Having fear of being happy?
Isn't that all we desire?
To smile and feel jolly.

I'm grateful for being able to smile,
yet why everytime I do it, it only ends with tears?
It is what I wanted
but it has given me fear.

A moment of joy,
Equivalent to moments of pain.
As I smile,
I wonder what will come next , on what will l attain.

I fear being happy,
As it torments me inside after.
I fear being happy,
For it is not as it was before.