Certain days flew by,
Destroying things they met,
All while leaving permanent damage.

And the fact they are permanent,
Messes me up more,
Because the following days,
Continue to collapse.

The day my lover broke up with me,
I sensed that I was suffocating myself,
By holding in the tears,
And screaming in my mind as they are let out.

The day I found out,
That my best friend had betrayed me,
It wasn't my heart that broke,
But rather my soul.

I do admit.
I had done so,
By almost choosing someone else.

But I assure you,
I never onced talk shit ,
Or complained about them,
Behind their backs.

I always tell those thoughts right on their face...

But the fact that they told someone else,
Rather than telling me on the spot,
Broke my soul,
More than I could comprehend.

And what made these two situations worse,
Was that the latter happened two days after.

The following days,
Maybe about three,
I cried almost twice or thrice a day,
Feeling unmotivated to do anything.

Although thanks to my best friend,
I moved on from my ex,
But I still have emotions left for these two.

Poems about them,
Mean shit now.
But somehow,
Immortalized them.

And I hate the fact that I am indecisive about keeping them or cutting off from them...

To keep them...
There's a high chance ,
My soul won't be mended,
And we'll continue to hurt one another.

To cut off from them,
The times we spent,
Would go to waste,
And the past would mean nothing but a mere reminder.

But doing either,
Would it even make a difference?

He could find anyone he likes,
Could be worse or better than me.

If I do keep him,
Even as a friend,
Having him around would haunt me.

If I do cut off from him,
It wouldn't make a difference anyways.

She has many friends ,
Who some are considered as her best friends.

If I do keep her,
I am just another one of those friends.

If I do cut off from her,
She won't even feel anything.

More on the lady...
If I do cut off from her,
It won't hurt her,
Because she already has many friends to replace me.

I am at a disadvantage,
My emotions are gathering,
Solely to work against me.

I still feel devastated,
That I just want to cry every single day,
In hopes the emotions would subside.

But instead,
I am holding them in,
Trying to find words to express them,
Hoping that way would allow those feelings to vanish.

I don't understand anything at all at this point...

Yes,
I do have friends.
But to be honest,
I do not feel fully comfortable around them as much as I am around with this best friend of mine.

I keep surrounding my self with false hope,
Saying I've moved on,
Saying that I don't care.
When in fact,
It's the opposite.

I don't know if this is being strong or being weak,
Either way...

It just bloody hurts...

So many words but I still cannot express how incredibly desvastated I am...

So many words but I still cannot convince myself to let go of these...

It all freaking hurts...

----

#WritcoPoemPrompt44
Think about a time in your life when you couldn’t make a decision, and write a poem based on it.

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